We Are Family. . .

We got a kid for Christmas this year. A big kid, in fact. A 17 year old kid.

I think my identity in running is probably more as a support person than a participant. 5 or so years ago I enjoyed running intervals and tempos with the kids I coach. Invariably this kept me in a near constant state of injury. My mind wouldn't accept the fact that my body wasn't built for the abuse anymore. You can run the pee out of a kid and the next day he'll be back farting around and ready for more. They recover like nobody's business. It's fun to be around. They seem to respect the fact that I still run a bit and commit to a marathon every year. It has been a good arrangement for me and for the kids.

I had an ideal of what coaching a cross county team should be when I started helping out my Alma Mata's program. The no-nonsense, redassed coach with the whistle and the squad of 30 or so calloused, self motivated competitors that would always be in contention of a state championship. This was the way I remembered it. The reality at present is heavyheavy recruiting to get 7 kids participating, usually 4 of which have been raised to believe that competing is bad.

The one or two kids that actually by into what you're selling and stay with it throughout their 4 years of high school is enough to keep me coming back. If you can stomach the fact that every time you see a kid at practice could be that last time you see them and that very few of them will run at college or beyond then you'll be ok.

It often has little to do with the science of running and more to do with guidance in other areas of their lives. The majority are being raised in single parent homes. An appallingly high percentage have no contact with their Dads. What a lot of them are looking for is discipline, boundaries, and above all else your attention and encouragement.

I've realized that they don't care about what workouts they are doing, periodization, lactate thresholds, Vo2 max's, or wearing the right shoes or shorts. That is for me to worry about. They just want your attention and acceptance and as your reward for a few weeks every year, running and their team becomes the most important part of their lives.

What I hope to show them is that I am a regular, hard working man who loves his family, can still run a bit, and that I think that what they are doing is important and good. This is the overall message to them. Work hard, love your family, stay fit, give some of your time back.

I am honored and humbled to have them check in with me as college students or graduates and better yet to have some of them coming back to help with the team.

Like most "teachers", you have a pet or two in each group. Sometimes you have to stand back and shake your head, wondering how they function and thrive despite their home environment. Thank God I have a strong marriage and we present a united front to our girls. I don't know how single parents do it. It seems like the kids would run all over you.

This brings me to our new kid. He is a kid I've coached for 3 seasons. Very bright (4th in his class), very funny, very respectful, and very incapable of living with his Mom anymore. I have watched him leave home (with her instruction and blessing) to stay with friends and family for days or weeks or months at a time since I've known him. Something as simple as him teasing his younger sister escalates and explodes into a major problem that finds him on someone else's doorstep. They have come to an impasse.

His Mom loves him very much but she feels that raising him alone since birth has made her more of a friend than a parent. He is perfect with anyone else. They just push each others buttons. He called to ask if he could stay with us which broke my heart. Later that day his Mom called and asked if he could stay with my family for an unspecified amount of time. She is a professional person from a wealthy family. Their problem has nothing to do with financial hardship.

Since my family has been fond of him for some time (he is one of my youngest daughter's best friends) and I have known him to be such a great kid, and we have 2 extra bedrooms....

He has been with us for a week now. All is good. He is a dedicated and talented runner who does not have to be prodded into getting his mileage in (unlike his coach, at times).

Wish us luck.